It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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