Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
