We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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