so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
