im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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