went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
