thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
