the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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