none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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