Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
