id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
