dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
