I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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