do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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