I got chris browned last night
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
