fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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