Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
