I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
