I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
