And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
