My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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