So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
