Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
