Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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