Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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