it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
