Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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