Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
