Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
