I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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