I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
