So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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