Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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