yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He uses pillows to masturbate.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
