then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
