I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We need to rekindle our bromance
We left an ass print on the piano.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
