I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm like, not good at living.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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