Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
