If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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