I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
