i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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