I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How does one acquire holy water?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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