Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
