she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
