I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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