you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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