So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
