This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
