just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
