Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
