never play flip cup with pint glasses
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
