Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
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