how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
