Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
